Overwhelmed? Maybe.

I feel as though I struggle with getting everything done these days. And not even "everything." Just the bare basics of keeping my family clothed and fed proves challenging to me some days. This school year has been some what of a rocky start. I was hoping (assuming) it would be easier than it actually has. In some ways, it has been. In other ways, it's harder. And really... I'm not sure why. I feel more stressed and anxious than I have in years past. I'm not working 30 hours a week outside of the home. (I am still working, just at home.) My boys are better at self-entertaining. I have food delivered for a good chunk of our meals. Yet, I get less done. 

Is it because I am home more and therefore less efficient? 

Is it because the commute to school and back is almost two hours, twice a day?  

Is it because I know there is still friction at school with the boys and their peers?  

Is it because I have anxiety?  

Is it because I just want to craft all day and not do chores? (Note: I do not actually get to craft all day. Or even ever.)  

 

I don't know. What I do know is that my bathrooms desperately need to be cleaned, my laundry is piled to the ceiling in some places, and I'm not sure the last time that I vacuumed. I have nothing of any sustenance in the fridge for dinner, and I have a full afternoon of art class, homework supervision, and taekwondo lessons (for the little one, not me). Which means I won't tackle any of that before bedtime. Which means I won't tackle it at all. 

Sigh. 

I think I need a happy homemaker in my life. Cause it sure ain't me. Is that a "thing"? Can I hire someone to do that?! If not... why?!